A Feast of Fixations

The day of feasting is upon us! (If you live in the United States, that is) I, for one, am excited to graze upon the bountiful dishes at meal time, and then sample each of the wonderful desserts my mother has baked. Until the wonderful Thanksgiving gathering, however, I am pondering abundance, and its role in my life. I have an abundance of loved ones, an abundance of joy in Christ, an abundance of anticipation for our new baby…the list goes on. There is much to be grateful for.

Another intangible thing I seem to have in spades is hobbies. The internet might call them hyper fixations, and it’s pretty trendy to talk about them right now. Which is why I’ve been recollecting all of the creative phases I’ve been through in my life. There have been a…lot. When I was younger, I learned how to crochet very basic things, then I tried out quilting (and made a quilt for my barbie!). At one point I really loved making “God’s eyes” after learning how to do them. I also remember “writing” books before I was really fluent in pen and ink. I’d staple pages together and scribble on them to make it look like writing. One had a very cute drawing of a bunny on a cover, and that is the only clue to what it is about. Making hexaflexagons, writing poetry, crocheting, sketching, musical theater, calligraphy, sourdough… I’m sure I’m missing a few.

Some of these creative ventures turned into actual pursuits. My love of musical theater morphed into a love of singing which led to me majoring in Vocal Performance and discovering that I had talent to perform in OPERAS. I still write poetry, and have never really stopped. My focus has shifted occasionally but I always feel pulled back to writing. Sourdough is now a routine I use to bless my family (and my tastebuds). I use my music degree to teach private voice lessons, and I sing at church. And I do make the occasional baby quilt to give as a gift. I’m planning on making one for the upcoming addition to our family.

My creativity, nurtured by my mother, gave me a passion for trying creative hobbies. Many of them were short-lived “fixations,” as one might call them, but they were not a waste of time. If I were a different person with different talents, sketching might have been the hobby that changed my plans for what to study in college. Or crocheting might have become my central hobby instead of poetry, and I’d be crocheting beautiful blankets while listening to audiobooks.

Now, in my full-fledged adult life, I can see how those hobbies I pursued as a child/adolescent shaped my life. They gave me healthy outlets where I could try new things and make mistakes without judgment. As a mother and a wife who is pursuing her passion of writing, they still provide that outlet. They provide a safe space to create without an inner critic. Those old fixations feel familiar to my hands and to my mind, and sometimes I find myself picking them back up just for the sake of calming my mind. My mind, which is always thinking of the next thing on my to-do list or worrying that I am not good enough at writing, needs that.

When I consider the abundance of my hobbies, and the rest I am still able to find in them, I can’t help but be so in awe of a God who designed me. I, in all my anxieties, in my inability to be still, was given a proclivity for naturally restful activities. In those hobbies I often find blessed rest, the kind of rest that points me back to my Creator, and fills my heart with the grace of a Father who knows me so well.

God’s abundant blessings are never wasted. He designed us with a purpose, and that purpose is ultimately for His glory. Your desire to create beautiful things, to rest, to enjoy art and poetry and music, are ways He might have designed you to give you rest, to give you a glimpse into His heart for you. This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the abundance of His love, and the special ways I find grace to receive it.


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